Retail Chain Launches Fleet of Robot Customers to Automate Bullshit Demands on Staff
Big box retail chain Glutmart announced today via company-wide memo that they will be automating bullshit demands on staff with the help of a fleet of high-tech ...
I’ve Just Been Added as a MuddyUm Humor Writer. The Fools!
Despite not being funny at all, I have just been added to MuddyUm’s roster of humor writers. The fools! They fell for my ruse! As evidence of my complete lack ...
7 Sound Financial Tips Anyone Can Probably Read
According to several major news outlets, the economy is in a truly terrible state. Of course, no matter what the state of the economy is, major news outlets alw ...
Tim Hawthorne: State Finals Ping-Pong Champion
To say their description of me under my photo in the newspaper back then was unflattering is to put it mildly: His face was cursed by an ever-rupturing lan ...
Oh, To Think Like a Bird
Sitting out here in my backyard on mild fall days listening to the sounds of nature, I often wonder what it would be like to think like a bird. My guess is that ...
10 UNBELIEVEABLE Facts About America
#1 If you turn off the lights and say “Murica!” three times, when you turn the lights back on, Thomas Jefferson will appear and present you with a co ...
Meet the Team of PLNN: the Patriotic Liberty News Network
Chet Maverick Lead Reporter Chet Maverick is a patriot and a journalist. When he’s not absentmindedly murmuring the Pledge of Allegiance under his b ...
BREAKING: “Golf Ball-Sized Hailstone” Officially Adopted as Scientific Unit of Measurement
An announcement by the Scientific Coalition on Universal Measurements (SCUM) to adopt “golf ball-sized hailstone” as an official scientific unit of measurement ...
Failed Fishing at the Family Hunting Cabin
I've never seen an animated character so impressed with my shoes before. With the Texas outdoor temperatures finally dropping out of Fahrenheit ranges typic ...
Daily Journal: April 15, 2018
Well, it's official: I like corn. It's taken me years to do it, but I can honestly say now that I like corn. Corn on the cob. Creamed corn. Whole kernel corn. I ...