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Homecomedy

Posts tagged: comedy

cloning machine

Man Cloned from Tainted DNA Sample Excels at Multitasking Thanks to Tentacles

April 26, 2023
by Clif Haley Words

When I met Jacobi Williams for our first interview he greeted me with a smile, a handshake, a pat on the back, a tip of the hat, and a brotherly grip on the sho ...

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lasik copy

LASIK: A Visionary Vision for the Future of Your Vision

March 1, 2023
by Clif Haley TechnologyWords

If you’ve been thinking about getting LASIK eye surgery to correct your vision but are nervous about the procedure, don’t worry. There is really nothing to fear ...

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Queasy Rider: How to Survive Riding a Motorcycle by Going Very, Very Slow

February 14, 2023
by Clif Haley Words

For some unknown reason, despite thoroughly cleaning out my ears daily, every morning my right ear appears to have been used as Madame Tussaud’s scrap bucket ov ...

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dreamstime_m_130598040

Retail Chain Launches Fleet of Robot Customers to Automate Bullshit Demands on Staff

December 21, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

Big box retail chain Glutmart announced today via company-wide memo that they will be automating bullshit demands on staff with the help of a fleet of high-tech ...

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money briefcase

7 Sound Financial Tips Anyone Can Probably Read

November 10, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

According to several major news outlets, the economy is in a truly terrible state. Of course, no matter what the state of the economy is, major news outlets alw ...

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ping pong

Tim Hawthorne: State Finals Ping-Pong Champion

October 16, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

To say their description of me under my photo in the newspaper back then was unflattering is to put it mildly: His face was cursed by an ever-rupturing lan ...

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dreamstime_m_244363912

Oh, To Think Like a Bird

October 10, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

Sitting out here in my backyard on mild fall days listening to the sounds of nature, I often wonder what it would be like to think like a bird. My guess is that ...

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American Flag

10 UNBELIEVEABLE Facts About America

September 29, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

#1 If you turn off the lights and say “Murica!” three times, when you turn the lights back on, Thomas Jefferson will appear and present you with a co ...

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Hailstones

BREAKING: “Golf Ball-Sized Hailstone” Officially Adopted as Scientific Unit of Measurement

September 5, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

An announcement by the Scientific Coalition on Universal Measurements (SCUM) to adopt “golf ball-sized hailstone” as an official scientific unit of measurement ...

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I've never seen an animated character so impressed with my shoes before.

Failed Fishing at the Family Hunting Cabin

September 3, 2022
by Clif Haley Words

I've never seen an animated character so impressed with my shoes before. With the Texas outdoor temperatures finally dropping out of Fahrenheit ranges typic ...

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