I Cleaned a Toxic Waste Dump Out of My Fridge

Maybe it wasn’t that bad, but it was pretty damn bad. Here’s the story…

Several months ago we destroyed our house. We had built a new house on the same property and the other house was just taking up too much room. Before destroying the old house we took the fridge out of it. We didn’t really need it, since our new house came with a fridge, but I wasn’t just about to let a perfectly good fridge get crushed, burned, and buried with our old house! It sat outside for five months.

The other day I figured I might as well do something with it. Sell it or use it, basically. Well, turns out we’d left a few things in that old fridge, most notably an entire pack of turkey lunchmeat, and somehow critters had gotten in there. They were all dead now, their weird, crusty black bodies littering the shelves, but I could see in the black mold and filthy funk clinging to the walls where their maggot children had scooted around.

The pack of lunchmeat was…interesting. It had never been opened and, surprisingly, whatever toxic gasses it must have generated while rotting in the Arkansas summer had expanded its container but not ruptured it. The mass inside no longer resembled turkey lunchmeat. Or any other kind of lunchmeat. It looked more like a diseased, gelatinous human brain. And it stunk. Bad. Like really bad. I can’t imagine an actual diseased, gelatinous human brain would come close to the foul, meaty smell of this glistening, rotten wad of offensive mucus.

After several hours of blasting the fridge out with a water hose and scrubbing it and gagging…lots of gagging…I finally got it clean.

In retrospect, I should have just had it crushed, burned, and buried with our old house.

Image: Dreamstime