Staying Fit During the Pandemic: 5 Tips from an Unqualified Nobody
Staying physically fit during a worldwide pandemic can be difficult. Trust me. I’ve found it so difficult I haven’t even tried. I’m normally a very fit guy ...
A FOOLPROOF Method for Finding a Mate
Listen up single people. I came up with a sure fire pickup line that I'll never be able to use.* The next time you're chatting with a potential mate at wherever ...
Protesting: America’s New Favorite Pastime
It seems like everyone these days has something to protest. Whether it's unfair this or that, something offensive, something not offensive enough, wage gaps, th ...
Massive Hipster Infestation
This past weekend I went to a live music event on 7th street here in Austin, Texas. It was a kickoff party for a San Antonio based magazine called Backbeat who ...
Grocery Store Demographic Breakdown
We just got back from the grocery store. While there, I composed a demographic breakdown of its inhabitants. I've classified the following consumer groups: ...
I Almost Killed a Cop!
Many ages ago, in my early twenties, I climbed into my car - a 1986 Ford Escort - to drive to work. The very same car that I would later (or had earlier...I don ...
I Stole My Own Car
Several hundred years ago, back when I was in my early twenties, my car was stolen. It was a red 1986 Ford Escort hatchback. Some friends and I were hang ...